Relaxed Parents

In my defense, I’ve had three glasses of something.

Yogamamamum (oops - sorry.  It really was only three glasses, honest) having failed to tag me with a marriage meme (by virtue of our cunningly having arranged to not get married over the last 16 years), has convincingly nailed me with the titular Food Porn Meme. A meme obviously designed to get the word “porn” repeated as many times as possible in an otherwise innocent blog post.

Well, y’know, I’m game.

1. What food do you consider the best “date” food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

We have a five month old baby and a toddler. There is no such thing as sex. It was formally abolished by the Church about 1500 years ago, probably by someone named Origen. I believe castration was involved.

(Though I seem to remember that champagne and very dark chocolate have their place.)

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with?

I’d be way too terrified and tongue-tied to share a meal with any of heroes. Well, maybe Nick Cave. Definitely Nick Cave, in fact.

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (Food AND the details, please. Candles? Music? Flowers? Hot tub? Dancing girls?)

What’s this thing you call breakfast in bed?

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

I don’t believe in any kind of corporal punishment. But it would probably be on top of a chocolate torte. Let’s face it, sweat curdles cream in a very unpleasant way.

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked Salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? Or something else?

Pasta. Lots of pasta. It’ll keep and you can eat it with cream and sausage meat made out of the wild pigs that are bound to be roaming the island we’re about to cast away upon. And very expensive brandy. It’ll add a nice something to the creamy wild pig sauce and could be used as a last resort for Molotov cocktails to take out the long-marooned bands of pirates that are bound to interfere with our island idle at some point. Probably accompanied by camera crews.

The Rules…
“Answer each of the five questions. Tag five bloggers you would like to pass the meme to. Have them link back to you and to this post as the source meme. You and they can take the graphic from here if they like.”

Tags?

Dan, who has trenchant opinions about food. And Marmite, though Marmite is technically a munition.

Bloglily, because I have witnessed at first hand the seriousness with which she attends to food.

TEOM, because she’s taken to using acronyms.

L.A. Daddy because his life isn’t complicated enough already.

And Ally, because she’s thinking about food and was foolish enough to delurk.

And blame this inventive individual who kicked this off in the first place.